Missing Person

Urgent: Have you seen this girl?

Known to her neighbours as a nice, quiet and unassuming girl who rarely sheds her conservative side, she was kidnapped Friday afternoon from work by a crazy woman and her three friends. Authorities have released the following mugshot:

The girls










Beware, these suspects are considered armed and dangerous.  

Jennifer was last seen in Whistler, held captive by the suspects pictured above, emerging from the Pan Pacific. Security cameras in the village caught footage of her looking something like this:

Needless to say, her family is in shock.

Today, a province-wide search commences for a blonde pirate, a salsa-dancing devil, what appears to be a boa-clad evil kitten and a turtlenecked woman going by the name of Whoreton.

All tips on this case will be fully exhausted by a committed search team lead by this man:

Her friends and family say there is little hope this Monday.

Over and Out,

Tamara Taggert

5 thoughts on “Missing Person

  1. Meyrick

    Hey! I was up in Whistler this weekend for a wedding and I saw you wearing that red dress! It was rather eye-catching. Several of my friends commented… gentlemanly comments of course! Looks like you had a blast.

    Congrats on your upcoming wedding!


  2. Ashleah

    I don’t know if my parents envisioned the dress quite that way, but that is certainly an improvement. You look, as always, stunning.

  3. sarah

    Hey, Isn’t that the same dress you’re sister borrowed the night of the “front room dance-a-thon” Hillarious!!!

  4. Pingback: No one wants to see pictures of snow (Lost Lake Trail and other things you’ll need to know about Whistler) | Champagne Wednesdays

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