I am having a photo/life-event back log. I will try to get caught up over the next few days. It’s making me not think clear. For example – it is, of course, the making of:
Last week, Ash and I went to our halfway ultrasound to meet our little…girl! To celebrate, we hosted a small dinner party with two pre-purchased boxes of pink and blue cupcakes to unveil at dessert. It was a moment I will always remember when we flipped the lid open, revealing 4 frosted pink cupcakes, and everyone screamed. I am so glad we did it that way.
The ultrasound photos showed us a healthy, upside down, thumb sucker (who happens to be kicking me as I type this). She may or not have the exact same profile as Ash (I think she does). I have to admit, the day after our ultrasound, as exhilerated and breathless as I was with the idea of having a daughter, I was a little sad too for the little boy who almost was – we spent so much time imagining both a girl and a boy.
But now my thoughts are full of girl – and all the wonders that entails. There are so many things I want to do, show, give, experience with our little girl, including the Saturday night we spent walking the seawall at English Bay and our beautiful Sundays on the patio and how much I love her father.
Off to Saskatchewan this week. The edge of the Canadian shield. To see the lines laid out where Jaimie and Al will build a house. To put my feet in cool lake water. To see what half a bison in a freezer looks like, finally.
On Saturday, Ash felt his first kick, strong as a buffalo butting its head into a gate. Thankfully, baby was not poisoned by all the sour milk we were drinking. An important lesson learned: switching brands does not mean milk should taste that funny. It’s like we don’t know what anything should taste like anymore…except for vegetables. Crisp and clear in my mind have returned all those carrots, cucumbers and peas picked from my parent’s concrete backyard in East Vancouver. Now more than ever, those childhood memories returning, as if the best parts of me are being chosen and stitched into this life inside.
Just over two weeks until our midway ultrasound. Are you a boy or a girl? I want to know but I love the mystery of you all at the same time.
Photo from Bliss.
David. Sunday morning. I am still in my pajamas and only half-awake when I hear your mom’s knock at our door. And there you are, too. In your green shirt and boy shorts. Your first tan. Your hair all raised up like a monster’s into golden spikes of sunblock. Today, you’ve come to show me how you’ve learned to say “auntie.” And when you smile at me this morning, as I jump over the balcony to scoop you out of your stroller, you seem so full of recognition that I’m stung by a million bumble bees of love for you. I pour your mom a cup of coffee and we watch your little tick-tock of a walk around the patio. You move like an impatient clock with a fluttering beat of a heart. Time moves with you, with every airplane and crow that your eyes and ears have learned to catch. Later, you ask for ice and grab big rocks of it to dissolve over your bright, red gums. All those teeth at one-year old! New words every day now. If I don’t see you for three days, the next time you’re a whole new little boy. Watching you grow is such a miracle. I had to write it down.
Photo from Lovely Design.